Saturday, November 19, 2011

Yep, I think too much....

Been hearing that my whole life. "Sallie, you think too much!"  If I had a dollar for everytime someone has said that to me....well, there goes my brain--wondering "What WOULD I do with all that money???"  Yep, that's how it works. One thought leads to the next and then the next and then the next and pretty soon I'm dancing on the edge of trying to solve the riddle of perpetual motion...........again.

But seriously now....what's wrong with thinking? I mean, isn't that what our large brains are for?

Y'know, I don't think it's really that people think I think "too much"'s that they feel uncomfortable with what I think ABOUT.....or at least whatever it is they *think* I think about......that's what they are REALLY objecting to......

So, want to know what I think about?

I wonder if it's possible to sit in the woods and watch hoar-frost grow on the trees...

I think about cliche's. I wonder where they originated. Like, who was the very first person to ever say "A watched pot never boils." And yes....I did once stand over the stove, staring at a pot of water trying to discern the moment the water started to boil... and I swear, it started to boil at the exact moment I blinked. Sigh.

I think about how evolution is just creation still happening.

I think about how much it amuses me to have a bench grinder and a drill my livingroom.

I think about how it feels to slide my fingers through the coarse, yet soft, hair that grows on a man's chest...and how I can't remember the last time I did that.

And I wonder about the things we are taught, like how we are taught "that is the color blue" and wonder if what each of us identify as blue, is perceived in the same way....

I wonder about people and why it's so much easier for them to be cruel than to be kind.

I think about how learning to laugh at my troubles was the most valuable lesson I ever learned.

I wonder if it's really true that no two snowflakes are exactly alike...and how would one go about proving that?

I think about how everyone in the world dreams of true love....all the while pushing away those who would love them while clinging to someone who does not.

I think about how I am aware of occupying my body and wonder if other people are aware of occupying theirs. And then I think about "what does that mean?"

I think about how people get so caught up in owning "things" that they don't realize the things really own them.

I think about how people are just so sure they know what's going on, that they never bother to question anything....least of all, themselves.

And I think about how much fun it would be to travel the country in a motorhome with someone special, earning what is needed along the way....and how depressing it would be to do that alone.

I think about how parents think they are doing a good thing when they push their children to excel, not realizing the message the child hears is "you're not good enough YET."

I think about how at any given moment, I am traveling over 142 miles per second around the center of the Milky Way Galaxy.

I think about how easy it is to heal a hurt and move forward....once a person decides that's what they want to do.

I think about how a handful of greedy people have tricked the rest of our society into being lemmings on a hamster wheel; nothing more than slaves...who don't even realize that's what they are.

I think about how hard I worked to be "self-sufficient" just to please a man....and now men tell me I am intimidating because I am so self-sufficient...because it leads them to believe I don't need anyone. (so not true!!!)

I think about how much I would like to live a simple life filled with simple pleasures shared with a simple man.

I think about how there's a whole "other world" existing between our roads and towns that goes mostly overlooked while people scurry about, worrying about schedules and deadlines and bills. And I think about how the critters are so much wiser than we are.....

I think about one person I miss very much, and wonder if he ever misses me too.

I think about what a privelege it is to live on this planet that has such beauty and diversity everywhere we look.

If it's a crime to look and see and think, then I am guilty as charged. But it is because I think so much, that I have learned appreciation and gratitude, and my capacity for love and compassion and forgiveness and understanding has grown exponentially, right along with the meanderings of my inquisitive mind.....

Blustery Winter Days....

I love the first snow of winter, I always have. It always makes me feel like cooking all day. I don't know why, it just does. So today I'm here in my cozy little trailer house and I'm.....well, okay...trailer houses aren't exactly known for being "cozy"...more like living in a drafty old shoe-box shaped corn-crib. But today, it feels cozy to me. The storms are up and drafts are limited by clear plastic window coverings. The furnace is working and I have a big pot of bean and ham soup simmering on the stove. Soon I'll be baking fresh bread and the aroma will add to that sensation of coziness.....

But I think the best thing about days like today is they provide an opportunity to take a "time-out". Most activities are cancelled on a day like today and a person doesn't have to leave their house unless they want to, or if there is some "must do" thing they just can't get out of. I left my house this morning to get a headlight for my jeep because I knew if I didn't get that fixed, traveling in this weather could be a problem....if it became necessary. By the time I returned, I'd made a couple extra stops, was rear-ended by a teenager in a jeep cherokee, and my headlight started working again on it's own. (I guess the jeep just needed a good "kick in the butt"...haha!)

But now I'm home where I want to be and while the soup is simmering on the stove, I'm thinking about blustery winter days of the past.....

I recall in the mid '70's a series of blizzards that literally trapped us in our farm house 10 miles from town. We ran out of fuel oil for the furnace and my parents were forced to move us all into the basement where an old wood-burner would keep us warm. My sister's and I thought this was a great adventure as my Father took doors off of hinges to set on stacks of cinder blocks as make-shift cots to set our mattresses on. The old coal room became the bathroom. My older sister thought that room was scary with the candlelight flickering across the old cobwebbed walls, so on the second day she used chalk to draw a giant colorful butterfly on the wall across from our makeshift commode. A few years ago I discovered that butterfly is still there despite the house having changed hands several times over the years.

We spent the days playing board games or singing songs or learning yarn games such as Cat's Cradle and Jacob's ladder. My mother taught us all to crochet and knit, while my Father was champion of the board games. Morning and evening my Father would venture out into the storm to feed the livestock, using a rope strung from the porch to the barn to find his way. My Mother would be a nervous wreck until he returned. But the best part was, with the electricity out....we could eat all the ice cream we wanted because it was just going to melt anyway. Believe me, we ate plenty!

Between storms my Father would allow us to venture out into the winter wonderland nature had created. Giant snowdrifts as high as the barn roof became forts with stairs carved into one side and slides down the other. We would dig tunnels and create rooms with windows and doors. Our two farm dogs: Barney and King, would play "tag" with us through our forts. Such fun we had!

Years later, when snow storms would keep my own children home from school, I remembered our adventures in the basement, and when my children started showing signs of cabin fever, I would pull out dice, decks of cards, and board games such as Aggravation and Yatzee. I'd make special treats such as Pigs-in-a-blanket with maple syrup for dipping, or peanut-butter candy. And when all else failed, I'd bring out long loops of yarn and teach them to play Cat's Cradle. Less than a week ago, I was pleased to watch my own daughter teach her two daughter's that old yarn game. It was fun to see how young girls in today's techno world of computors and video games, can still become deeply engrossed in a simple game played with a single piece of yarn....and I realized it's value in teaching concentration and cooperation.

So today, as I watch the snow fall and drift across my porch, I find myself spoiling my little dogs a little bit more than usual. Partly because they are the only one's here for me to spoil, and partly because sometime before this last Tuesday...some unknown person poisoned them and I am extra grateful they are alive. So they are my "children" that I will play with on this blustery winter day......and since the Vet has recommended a liquid diet for a few days, I'm sure I will share my soup with them as well.......