Friday, February 17, 2012

Do I "Glow???"

I've been hearing that my whole life. But before I comment....first, some quotes....

"You are such a bright light, Sallie. Never let anyone put your light out."
H.S. Biology Teacher

"The first time I saw you I noticed you seemed to glow, like you had your own light that was shining from inside of you. It was very attractive. I wanted to know who you are." 

"I hired you because you have something, like a's very attractive and that's good for business."

"You have this light around you, like a bubble of energy or something. When you walk into a crowded room, everyone notices. I can just watch everyone's heads turn and I feel kinda proud knowing that you're with me."

"Sallie looks younger than I remember, it's like she's glowing..."
"She does that alot lately."

"I don't know what it is about you, but I just want to tuck you in my pocket and keep you safe, like a precious treasure. You just glow."

"I saw you over here by this tree, lost in thought, and your face was just glowing....I wanted to know what you're thinking about."
~Unknown man at an art festival

"I knew when you walked in the door that you weren't doing well today, because you weren't glowing like you usually do."

"I looked back over my shoulder and your face was glowing. You were watching the geese flying over a field and you looked so serene....I wanted to be like you."

I know there's more, these are just the ones I remember. The last one was today.....and today it really caught my attention. I think because so many before came from men...and of course, I naturally assumed it was just a ploy....a line designed to sway me into accepting the invitation that usually followed. With Anne being the only exception...until today, when Corrine shared her thoughts of just yesterday; when she and I, along with 2 of the men we work with, were driving around in a truck looking for potholes to patch.

Corrine's comment was significant to me, partly because she's a woman, and partly because she was commenting on a moment when I was not interested in listening to my co-workers commenting unkindly about other co-workers who were not there to defend themselves, so I was looking out the window and had noticed the field we were passing was filled with hundreds of geese, with more flying in...and I was admiring their beauty in flight while my mind drifted across a myriad of topics....none of which were particularly significant....although I would say my emotions at that moment were a mixture of sadness and regret on the heels of yet another lonely Valentine's Day.

Beyond that, I was just "being in the moment" and admiring what was in front of me: Geese being geese.

The fact that I wasn't contemplating anything specific at that moment is the part that peaks my curiosity and causes me to reconsider all the comments of the past. Do I glow at certain moments? What is causing the glow? In the past I would have thought it had something to do with thoughts of a certain man, or memories of a special moment. I find it intriguing to discover that someone else would note that I was "glowing" at a time that was insignificant to makes me wonder....Do I glow? And if I do......Why?

It reminds me of a dream I once had, in which Anne; who is quoted above, was in darkness and I perceived myself as being the only light in the room and she came and danced in my light and extended her arm toward me. I learned later that she had broken her arm that night.

Over the years I have met people who I would have described as "having their own light"....but I would not say they "glowed". The only time I've ever said that about anyone is when a friend was "in love" and exhibiting the glow that always appears when a person is basking in the excitement of "romantic love". So I find it intriguing that others may have been commenting on something they are actually seeing...that isn't always attached to my own experiencing of "romantic love".

I don't have any deeply insightful observations to share on the subject. I'm just sharing something that's rumbling through my brain tonight. A curiosity. A I actually glow?

What a puzzlement.....